Roi Soleil and musings

This Thanksgiving weekend I got obsessed with Le Roi Soleil. It is a French musical and is too beautiful for words. I'm very glad to be able to understand most of it by now, especially because in February I am going to France for two weeks.

I also saw my preschool friend and his family again for the first time in nearly a year. I missed them a lot. Honestly, I feel like some of my preschool friends are some of my favorite people.

I chatted a lot with my BUA friends, who I haven't been in touch with as much. And I'm still sad about not being able to be quite as close with them and I do miss them.

But I realized that I've spent far too much time missing people, far too much time doing stuff that doesn't mean much to me, and far too little time doing things I want to do or spending time with the people I want to see. Here is a song from Le Roi Soleil that kinda sums it up, I guess. Also a translation.

http://lyricstranslate.com
Life Passes By

I see faces coming & going.
I see regrets passing by.
As many dreams are passing by,
That I left to the side,
When I should have been dreaming.

I have seen some mirages disappearing,
Which will never come back.
Still, I have seen so many voyages,
End with a ship wreck,
While they were just starting out.

Life passes by,
And I have seen nothing pass by.
Life passes by.
I had only borrowed it.
Time passes by,
I didn’t know how to stop it.
And I had simply forgotten how to love.

I held back many words,
That I should have said.
But, is it still a sign of courage,
To mark the pages,
Without being satisfied ?

Life passes by,
And I have seen nothing pass by.
Life passes by.
I had only borrowed it.
Time passes by,
I didn’t know how to stop it.
And I had simply forgotten how to love.

I don’t want to believe without doubting.
I don’t want to believe
That the road is closed.
One time for all, closed.
I want to catch a glimpse of where to go.
Give me the right,
That a man can allow himself,
To abandon all.

Life passes by.
Time presses.
Life passes by.
And I have seen nothing pass by.
Everything disappears.

Life passes by.
And I want to see it pass by.
Life passes by.
I want to see you borrow it.
Time presses.
You will have known how to stop it.
Time ceases.
But, I would have atleast loved.
Time passes.
And it can pass by.
Life passes by.
And I would like to spend it
With you.

Books and Fate

I have finished the second book of the night. I intend to start a third.

The second book in question happens to be The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom. It was good, but it took warming up to. I don't know if it was too close to me, too overdone, or too much of anything.

Right now I'm not sure if this voracious reading is entertainment or escape.

The thing is, The Five People You Meet in Heaven is more or less a book about fate. About how you are always affecting others and lives are always entwined with one another.

And I think, now:

If my parents had not come to school here, I would not be writing in English. I might not even exist. Was it fate?

If we hadn't moved when I was five, I might have gone to my friend's current school and thus met her and possibly all my other friends. Was it fate?

If I hadn't known so many of the people I do, I would not be this person. I could be someone far different. Were all of my encounters fate?

Fate has played a massive role in my life, I think. Fate and chance. My life sometimes feels as if it's on an edge, or a dartboard. Something random. I don't understand it.

I don't get how some people I meet seem to be like fictional characters. I don't grasp how I can have two languages and almost two lives. I don't see how I - me! - got the chance to be this way.

Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it.

Talktalktalk

There are people who I try desperately to talk to and keep contact with. For most of them, it's because I am terrified of losing that friendship or connection. I'm scared that if I don't tell them what's going on in my life, our friendship will disappear.

Sometimes it's fine and they respond to me. But other times I just feel like I'm bothering them, and they would rather that I stay away.

Then of course I'm ashamed and I start slapping myself across the face. Sometimes I really feel like I need help.

People and blogs and hugs

I had this whole post that I wrote about the wish tree I saw a few days ago in Jaffa, but then I accidentally deleted it, so I will rewrite it later.

But anyways, I have a few blogs to share that I think deserve some love.

Of Hyperions and Pumpkin Pi
This blog is one I discovered a while ago. The thing that first drew me to it was the title - I mean, come on. Of Hyperions and Pumpkin Pi. Isn't that just wonderful? The writer's username is Theodora Orli, and in any case she writes beautifully. She reminds me a lot of myself sometimes, and she deserves more followers! Also hugs. Everyone deserves hugs.

The Ordinary Life of Katie
I found this one relatively recently. Katie's writing varies from descriptions of daily life to musings about the future and life in general. It's really fun to read! Also, I can marvel at the fact that she's a fencer. Wow...

Anyway, I hope that if you read this post, you'll go check these out! Hugs all around!

Those People: a Thanksgiving Follow-Up

I can get to be a bit of an emotional wreck. I tend to beat myself up over things for a long time after they've happened, and it can get bad.

But I've realized lately that there are some people who really help me with that and balance me out, so to speak. I've always had someone like that, or a set of someones. Sometimes it was my family, sometimes friends, sometimes others.

Often they're people I don't see as much, and I spend a lot of time imagining hypothetical conversations or situations or what they might be doing at the moment. And when they see them, I feel so happy.

I want to thank those people. They may or may not know how much they've done for me, but I love them all.

They make my universe a better place.

IHOP Night

Well, last night was opening night, and tonight was middle night, and both were SO AWESOME, and then we went to IHOP.

We arrived and sat down and took superlong to decide what we were ordering and I ended up getting hot chocolate and pancakes. They were good, if sugary. It wasn't really the food that counted.

We were the only group in the small IHOP universe for a while, and then this other cast from somewhere arrived. They were juniors and seniors. At first we kept to ourselves, then we mingled a bit, then this girl named Kate made a speech and everyone applauded and then.

One guy from the other table comes over to her with a napkin.

Him: Hey.
Him: I just met you.
Kate: ...?
Him: And this is crazy.
Him: But here's my number.
Him: So...
Him: Call me, maybe?

At which point everyone screamed and clapped and went insane. It was excellent. I was hyper. We took a photo that near-perfectly embodies our existence as a group. Our director left eventually, and then people started leaving. But I had the time of my life.

Later, when we were leaving, some people from the other table, who we didn't really know at all, came and hugged us. I really, really like theater people. Generally amazing and somewhat insane.

I love all of the people in Frosh play. There is simply nothing like it. I love our closeness as a cast, how well we know each other, how we have inside jokes and we always have something to talk about. It's kind of beautiful. I'm going to have serious post-play depression. It's culminating in closing night tomorrow. I don't want it to end. I've loved every minute, and I'll miss it so much. All the work, everything - it ends up glorious. Glorious enough that I can get all sappy and sentimental like I am.