Choreography

I was thinking of not going to ballet today because I've got a blister between my toes from walking too long in my flip-flops after not wearing any ever. But the blister ain't that bad and it was the last day. So.

I came, expecting to have to explain to the teacher how I couldn't do pointe today because I had a blister, etcetera etcetera, when she asked the pianist to give us a few waltzes so we could do choreographies to them - though she called them "improvisations." I got myself a group of four and we did a short dance to the slower of the waltzes.

I think it was good. We finished first, so while the other groups were still practicing, I went and did some actual improvisation, which was immense fun.

We showed the dances, then the class finished early. I said goodbye to the teacher and pianist, as well as most of the girls. It's weird, this is like a softer, subtler version of the nostalgia I felt before coming here. Which is okay, because I guess that's what you're supposed to feel.

Name Tags, Duck Ponds, and Spoilers

When Whovians start arguing about name tags and duck ponds, you know some huge but obscure spoilers have been dropped.

I was on doctorwhotv.co.uk when I saw that Matt Smith had dropped a HUGE spoilerific bomb on us: Moffat put an important hint into The Eleventh Hour which foreshadows the Ponds' departure. Some suggestions include:

• The duckless duck pond
• Rory's name tag, which has the wrong year (this is supposedly a mistake, but you never know)
• One of little Amy's drawings, showing a house on fire
• The re-use of Mrs. Angelo's brooch in The Big Bang

Well...we're waiting, Moffat. This has always been your thing.

(If you didn't get this, it's fine, just go start watching Doctor Who!)

Change

Right, so.

I was reading some of my old blog posts and I can just feel how much I've changed. Yeah, I knew it would happen back then, but it's kind of wonderful to see now.

Six months ago a change like this might have made me sad. But today? Oh, no. I'm at the top of the world and yet it can only go up from here.

Because I'm not depressed and I learned to cartwheel and I had recess and I started liking the theater and people tell me I look like I'm from Tel Aviv and I know how to get around here and I have amazing new friends and they're very very sad I'm leaving and I started liking myself and I let myself branch out and I finished three notebooks and I learned to do a handstand and I can cope with a high school and I am crazy and I'm fine with the messed-up world and I have CHANGED within.

This doesn't mean I might not be crying when I get back, no it doesn't. I can still be sad. But I'm happy I had this opportunity. I am very, very glad.

"I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friend."

~ Augustus Waters

I love the world.

Closing Time

Today was the last day of school.

It wasn't that much really, we came to school and our teacher spoke and stuff, embarrassing me and the other girl who's leaving in my class by saying how lovely we were. I got a cork board thing with a bunch of notes from my friends, which I thought was really sweet.

Then she handed out report cards - unfortunately for me, in reverse alphabetical order - and while I waited for mine, I went about saying a few goodbyes. One of my friends who are boys permitted me to hug him in that time, which he hasn't let me do when I tried. I took photos of unsuspecting people and ran up and down the stairs.

I got my report card and was quite happy with it, except for my grade in history, which had a mistake in it and lowered my average by a lot, so I went around for about two hours to find my teacher.

Then I finally found her and just about sorted things out.

After my friends had gotten their grades too, we went downstairs to the kiosk and bought a coke and mentos, then went out to the parking lot. I got my camera out and we exploded the coke (except not really, because it was too small) then jumped on the remains. A second friend who is a boy permitted me to hug him before he left.

Then I went home, put my big cork board down, and went to meet my friend at the bus stop, where we caught a bus to Dizengoff Center. I took her to a great bakery and we bought a baguette, took it back to the Center, ate it, and proceeded to buy shakes at re:bar (mine was mango, pineapple, passion fruit sorbet, and yogurt). We went to "Everything for a Dollar," which does not have everything for a dollar, and I bought a minimini notebook. Then we met up with the rest of our buddies, who were buying movie tickets, and I hugged all of them, including a third friend who is a boy. I had to go home because of my ballet open house.

I don't know what to say about it. It's been a kind of amazing day, and I'm feeling happysad, but kind of more sad. I don't know. This song kind of defines it (not in the sense that I'm in love or anything). I've had it on repeat for the last ten minutes.

I need some quotes. Goodbye.

(Doctor Who title reference again!)

Quotes

"It's reminding people what friendship should really feel like, which is inconvenient, and annoying, and a bit of a pain in the arse."

~ Alex Day

"In real life, people are rude! People are shit!"

~ Alex Day

"In our hyper-secular world, worship is still inevitable. But it's vital to remember that our gods don't choose us. We choose them."

~ John Green

"I'm being extremely clever up here and there's no one to stand around looking impressed! What's the point in having you all?"

~ The Doctor

"The universe is big, it's vast and complicated and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles."

~ The Doctor

"Forever is composed of nows."

~ Emily Dickinson

"Some infinities are bigger than other infinities."

~ Hazel Grace Lancaster

"It makes good times even better when you know they are going to end."

~ Violet

"You can love someone so much, he thought. But you can never love someone as much as miss them."

~ Colin Singleton

"We're invisible. I've never been here with someone else. It's different being invisible with someone."

~ Lindsey Lee Wells

"What a treacherous thing it is to believe that a person is more than a person."

~ Q Jacobsen

This is what I do in the times when I don't know who I am: I look for quotes. Because I am the quotes and the quotes are me. "I'm not a complex person, wind me up and watch me go" ~ "Don't Look Back" by Alex Day

Sluttish Time

(No, I didn't invent the title, it's from Shakespeare's Sonnet fifty-five.)

Today I realized that on Tuesday it will be two weeks until I'm gone.

Shakespeare was right on for a lot of stuff. Including about time and "all the world's a stage" and things.

Time is making me confused. The passing of time is a strange thing. What is time? I don't think there's a definition. If time is a collection of seconds and minutes and hours, what are seconds and minutes and hours? They are ways of measuring time. And time is...well, you get the idea. Chicken and the egg kind of thing.

And so suddenly I've got three days left of school and I'm getting my report card soon and my uncle is arriving from New York and it's officially going to be summer on Thursday and I have to say goodbye to my friends here.

My life is bonkers. But then, it always was.

A Piece of Brilliance

So I was watching John Green's video about Book Expo and towards the end he said this:

"In our hyper-secular world, worship is still inevitable. But it's vital to remember that our gods don't choose us. We choose them."

~ John Green

And I think that is just amazingly true.  John Green is an amazing author. If you haven't read his books, I encourage you to do so.

DFTBA!

Silence and the End of Some Things

Ballet teachers will yell, some more than others. It is simply a fact of life.

However, today my teacher lost her voice. The class was literally silent between exercises. No one spoke at all. We communicated via hand gestures.

It's strange, but when someone in the room doesn't speak and uses hand gestures to communicate, we often feel the need to stay quiet. And today, there was no yelling, and barely any speaking. Just music and concentration. I came out of the class feeling relaxed and with a huge grin on my face. There's nothing like silence to help you get centered. It was almost like yoga.

---

Earlier today, I had my last geometry class of the year. And as usual, I was being loud and calling out and screaming answers. Of course, my math genius friend got everything first, but I got it shortly afterwards. Then, the teacher handed out the class placements for next year. If I were to stay, I'd still be in the highest math class - א'1 or I guess A1. You see? Calling out does pay.

---

I think I'm going to watch an episode of Doctor Who now and eat some ice cream. What a wonderful evening.

(By the way, see The Vampires of Venice - Season 5 Ep 6 – as well as The Big Bang - Season 5 Ep 13 – for the Doctor Who reference in the title.)

SURPRISE!

Thursday afternoon saw me rushing to Dizengoff Center to meet my friends, among which was a birthday girl.

We walked around a bit, then another friend, who at that time was at the birthday girl's house, texted each of us in turn. We made our excuses, one by one, except instead of going home we went to her house. Finally, she came back, and we screamed, "SURPRISE!"

Then we played games, ate, danced, and celebrated. It was brilliant.

In Which I am a Five-Year-Old Teenager

Today we had a meitzav, or a statewide test, in math. One of the easier things I've done. I think I got at least a 90, which I like, because normally on math tests I don't get too far over 85 or 90, sometimes less. So that's nice.

And it was my last test here, as a friend of mine took care to inform me afterwards, before I went to buy a bag of chocolate milk (yes, they sell chocolate milk in bag-type things) to rejuvenate my utterly fried brain.

Then, in English class, we were talking about our plans for the summer, specifically so the teacher could correct pronunciation. Obviously she didn't correct mine, but after I finished saying that I was going back to America, seeing my friends, going to some art and writing camp-things, and possibly going to New York, she said that it had been really nice to have me in her class and for everyone to hear an American accent besides hers. She said I'd contributed to the class discussions (which I do think was one of the high points of being here, especially the calling-out part) and that she'd miss me. Then everyone clapped and I just sat there in the back of the class, embarrassed yet elated, tracing the "love" that someone had carved into the desk just for something to do.

Then math class got cancelled, which was brilliant because it chopped an hour and forty-five minutes off my school day and I walked home with some friends, making fun of two of our other buddies who were walking about twenty paces in front of us and couldn't hear a word we were saying. All mockery, and all pretty much that old rhyme, "___ and ___ sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage."

I suppose, deep down, I'm not more than five years old. It's becoming more and more apparent now. Oh well, being five is fun.

Filmin'

In the recess between theater classes today, I got out my camera, snapped some photos, then decided a video would probably be better.

"Why are you filming? So you don't forget?"
"I guess."
"Oh, don't worry about that. You won't forget us if you try. We'll be chasing you in your dreams."

Basically, once people realized I was filming, they flocked around me, trying to get in the video. It ended up being about twenty minutes long, and it would have been longer if the battery hadn't died. And I've promised to bring a full battery tomorrow and next Tuesday. We'll see how this turns out...

Incorporation

We had a quiz on Shakespeare's Sonnet XVIII (18 for those who can't read Roman numerals), which was a veritable piece of cake. However, before that, the entire class was freaking out. At the end of math, someone was asking me if I had a summary for it. "I don't know," I said relaxedly, "I didn't study."

"Well, you don't need to," they said.

"Of course she doesn't, she's pretty much Shakespeare-Obsessed, Inc."

Well...there you go. That says it all.

Though I suppose, if I am Shakespeare-Obsessed, Inc. then I am also Doctor Who-Obsessed, Inc. and Harry Potter-Obsessed, Inc. and A Lot Of Things-Obsessed, Inc. Obsessions are my thing.

Computerless Saturday (well, up to now)

My parents were in Jerusalem today and yesterday, so we (my brother and I) slept over at my grandma's. This means:

1. No internet
2. Good food (not that ours is normally bad)
3. Better sleep (see number 1)
4. More time to do stuff (see number 1)

So, I got up after a much better night's sleep than I have had in a while, ate breakfast, and generally prepared myself pour le jour. My aunt came over with a backpack full of cameras (!) and, since she had promised me a few months ago, we were going outside to take photos. She was teaching me to use an analog camera - do stuff the good ol'-fashioned way.

We walked by the Yarkon (the muddy strip of water that we call a river) and took photos of the park around it. Since it's Saturday, the park was full of people. I had a great deal of fun playing with the zoom and focus. We went all the way to the port, which isn't really that long, taking photos of things and windows and stuff, and then took a taxi to meet my brother and then went for hamburgers at a place called Wolfnights. They were delicious. There's not much more to say.

We then went back to my grandma's and sat around for a few hours. My brother practiced his violin. I took more pictures on the cameras. I now have two full rolls of film (36 photos each), which doesn't sound like a lot but it is when you're selective with the photos as we were.

Then, my uncle and cousin came over with a basketball and we went to the park to play. First we were just shooting hoops, then we played a few games that included shooting hoops, then we played an actual basketball game. Kids versus grownups - my uncle and his sister (my photographing aunt) versus my cousin, my brother, and me. And we won - twice.

The best thing? I didn't feel like I needed the computer at all.

Juneful Things

Me: Right, it's June.
Me: Wait...it's JUNE?! How did that happen? One day it was May and the next...
Me: That's kind of how things work. I guess.
Me: BUT IT DIDN'T FEEL LIKE THAT---AGHHH!
Me: Calm down. It's just June.
Me: JUNE!

Do not disturb. Reality shock in progress.