92 Questions

1:Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed?

Either, I don't really care, although after I've seen something scary? CLOSE THAT DOOR.

2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels?

How could I not?

3:Have you ever ‘done it’ in a hotel room?

I should think not.

4:Where is your next vacation?

Israel.

5:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

Don't I wish. Alas, no...

6:Who do you think reads these?

Some of my friends. I don't know if they'll read this, I'm doing it as a mode of procrastination on homework.

7:Do you have a calendar in your room?

If extremely severely outdated ones count, yes!

8:Where are you?

In my living room...why, looking to stalk me?

9:What’s your plan for the day?

Seeing as it's practically over, erm...procrastinate, maybe play my new Settlers of Catan, maybe squeeze in some homework.

10:Are you reading any books right now?

Several, as it happens: The Great Gatsby, The Iliad, The Odyssey, and another unpublished one.

11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?

When the counting starts, it doesn't stop.

12:Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing?

Why is this even a question? Fuck yeah.

13:Do you chew your pens and pencils?

No.

14:What is your “Song of the Week”?

I don't know, maybe "The Ballad of Mona Lisa" by Panic! at the Disco. But it's more of a song-that's-in-my-head-for-each-day.

15:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?

Guys can wear whatever the hell they want.

16:Do you still watch cartoons?

I never watched TV. But when the opportunity arises, OF COURSE!

17:Whats your favorite love movie?

Love movie? I don't seem to have seen one...now I feel like there's one I've seen and loved and I can't remember, if I remember after posting I will put it down under in italics along with the date.

18:What do you drink with dinner?

Water.

19:What do you dip Chicken Nuggets in?

Ketchup.

20:What is your favorite food/cuisine?

Indian, maybe? French? Italian? Israeli? Eastern European? Oh, I'm bad at this, I'll eat most things.

21:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

Harry Potter movies, The Dark Knight Rises, The Avengers, Thor - yeah, I'm a fandom girl.

22:Last person you hugged/kissed?

My mother. Before that, my girlfriend.

23:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

Nope.

24:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

Oh, tough...erm...February? Ouch. (Well, I've written letters I didn't send later than that.)

25:Can you change the oil on a car?

No...why?

26:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?

No, I can't drive...you seem suspicious...

27:Run out of gas?

This girl can't drive.

28:Favorite kind of sandwich?

Tomato/mozzarella, BLT, any sandwich with some sort of meat/cold cuts/fish and veggies.

29:Best thing to eat for breakfast?

Safta's toast, a.k.a. grilled cheese to the rest of the world. Yeah, I've eaten it for breakfast. It's the best.

30:What is your usual bedtime?

Weeknights? 10-10:30.

31:Are you lazy?

Yeah. And no. Sometimes?

32:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?

I dislike this use of past tense. Anyway, up to age 11, I dressed up as a Japanese girl every year, in a kimono. After that, I was a sheet ghost/bedouin (it got suffocating under the sheet so I improvised), an Egyptian princess, Dark (as opposed to light, which was my friend), and Poison Ivy to my girlfriend's Harley Quinn.

33:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

Proud subscriber of Writer's Digest.

34:Which are better, legos or lincoln logs?

Is this a heated debate? Well, they have their ups and downs, but I would say you could do more with Legos.

35:Are you stubborn?

Not particularly, to my knowledge. Although when it involves learning things, yes.

36:Who is better…Leno or Letterman?

I really wouldn't know.

37:Ever watch soap operas?

I would tell you, but I HAVE AMNESIA!

(No, actually.)

38:Afraid of heights?

Sometimes.

39:Sing in the car?

I sing EVERYWHERE.

40:Dance in the shower?

I would kick the wall and fall over trying to do a grand battement. So, no.

41:Dance in the car?

As much as you can call swaying your torso from side to side "dancing."

42:Ever used a gun?

No.

43:Do you think musicals are cheesy?

They can be. But I don't really care anyway.

44:Is Christmas stressful?

I don't celebrate it. I celebrate DOCTOR WHO DAY!

45:Ever eat a pierogi?

Yes, I quite liked it.

46:Major annoyance right now?

Homework, as always. Stuff to do and not wanting to do it.

47:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

I still do not favor this use of past tense. Drummer, actress, artist, writer, editor, professor/academic, and so many more. Mostly things that have no money in them.

48:Do you believe in ghosts?

Ghosts of times past? Yes. Ghosts of people? Sometimes.

49:Ever have a deja-vu feeling?

Did I not just say I believe in ghosts of times past? Of course I have déjà-vu.

50:Do you take a vitamin daily?

Gummy vitamin C or multivitamins. Because they just taste good.

51:Wear slippers?

Sometimes.

52:Wear a bath robe?

Not really.

53:What do you wear to bed?

In the summer, random shorts or pajama pants and a t-shirt, in the winter, button-down, matching top and bottom satin or flannel pajamas. Because I'm cool like that.

54:Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?

If I have to choose, Target. But I don't much like department stores. At all.

55:Nike or Adidas?

I wouldn't know, again.

56:Cheetos Or Fritos?

Awkward capitalized "or." Cheetos, maybe?

57:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Sunflower seeds.

58:Ever hear of “gorp”?

Gorp: trail mix. Yeah.

59:Ever taken karate?

No. But I take ballet, and you should never underestimate a ballerina.

(No but seriously, do you want a pointe shoe to the head? Thought not.)

60:Ever kissed someone of the same sex?

I have a girlfriend. I should think so.

61:Can you curl your tongue?

Yes, in various ways.

62:Ever won a spelling bee?

No, but I might.

63:Ever cried because you were so happy?

No. I'm not a crier.

64:Own any record albums?

My parents do, and they play in some of them.

65:Own a record player?

Yup!

66:Regularly burn incense?

No.

67:Ever been in love?

Yeah, I think.

68:Hot tea or cold tea?

If cold means not steaming but lukewarmish, hot tea. If cold means iced, depends on the season and on the tea.

69:Tea or coffee?

Herbal tea or high-end tea.

70:Favorite kind of cookie?

Sugar/butter cookies with more sugar on top. Mmm...

71:Can you swim well?

Fairly well, I suppose.

72:Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?

Yeah. Suffocating terrifies me, though.

73:Are you patient?

Yeah, unless there's somewhere I have to be at a certain time and I don't know if I'll get there. Then I freak the fuck out and shout at everyone and am ridiculously impatient.

74:Ever won a contest?

Creative Communications's Fall 2008 Poetry Contest: I got into the Top Ten in the northeast for grades 4-6. Yeah, I'm pretty freakin' proud of that.

75:Ever had plastic surgery?

No, I'm fourteen, thank you very much.

76:Which are better black or green olives?

Canned green > canned black. Non-canned black > non-canned green.

77:Can you knit or crochet?

Si und oui.

78:Wash room or bathroom?

Place where there is a toilet, a sink, and sometimes a shower or bathtub.

79:Do you want to get married?

I don't know yet.

80:Who was your High School Crush?

Loving the use of capitalization here.

81:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?

No, or not usually, or not anymore.

82:Do you have kids?

No, being a fourteen-year old girl in western society in the 21st century and - just no.

83:Do you want kids?

See question 82.

84:What kind of mom are you?

Honestly! What is this? You seem exceedingly suspicious!

85:Do you miss anyone right now?

I miss my family in Israel, my friends in Israel, some of my old friends here, and my girlfriend. Solid amount of missing.

86:Who do you want to see right now?

Any of the people mentioned above, really.

87:Last person you went out to dinner with?

My girlfriend? I mean, it was a party...otherwise, my mom and my brother.

88:Favorite flower?

Red hibiscus.

89:Places lived?

Boston area, somewhere in France, somewhere in Germany, Tel Aviv.

90:Places you want to live?

New York, in Cambridge again, in Tel Aviv again, London, or Paris.

91:Favorite place?

Not in the world, but libraries and bookstores and universities take the general prize.

92:A memory.

I went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II at midnight with my now-girlfriend and her friend, and it was one of the best experiences of my life - I cosplayed as Hermione and there were so many other wonderful cosplayers. The reactions in the theater were glorious. When Ron and Hermione kissed, the cheering went on for two solid minutes, and half the people coming out of the theater at the end were sobbing. It really made me think about how much it all means to us, and how much I love it. Fandoms are wonderful like that.

Family Weirdness

My family is weird. That is something long-established.

We were at the Cheesecake Factory and I was talking to my mom about a few weird things that some normal families do.

1. Parents not drinking coffee. As long as I can remember, the coffee ritual has been an important one in my family. When I was two I spilled hot espresso on my hand when I was sitting on my mom's lap. Back when I still woke up at seven, I would come downstairs and wait until my parents had finished with their coffee and only then would we eat. I had no idea it was even possible for adults not to drink coffee until I was maybe eleven.

2. Not taking leftovers home after eating out. I have eaten with a few families who do this and, while I'm not saying it's bad, it makes me ridiculously uncomfortable. My mom pointed out that most of those families are not descendants of Holocaust survivors or children of wars. It is worth mentioning that the amount we waste in our household is enormous compared with what my grandmother throws away in her house. It's a dismal thing to say, but it's true. War makes people think differently. My great aunt once told me that children of the war are not people who want much for themselves, they are people who want much for their children.

3. Not always having a parent home most of the time. My parents work in fields in which it is usually not terrible to call in sick or need to stay home with sick children, and often they are not far away. Each afternoon, there will always be a parent home - not always during the school day or evening, but they will always be able to transport us from place to place.

So there you have it, three things that I find strange about normal people coupled with analysis. Have a lovely normal (weird) life!

It's Okay

About two months ago, I had a dilemma.

I was thinking of applying to BU Academy - a private school full of nerds, basically. It has rigorous academics, fun people, nice art programs, etcetera.

I realize now that it likely would never have happened, but I was still seriously considering it.

I wanted to go there partly because it sounded wonderful and I would be happy there, but more to prove to myself that I could and would be intellectually superior.

The thing about me is this. Nobody ever insulted me or said I was bad at anything I do, be it art or writing or schoolwork. Nobody does, and I don't want them to. But I sometimes think so lowly of myself that it doesn't matter - I do it worse than anybody else, because no one stops me and usually I can't stop myself.

So basically, I got it into my head that I could not be the person I want to be if I did not apply and get into this school, mostly because of the academics. For myself, I always have to be good at what I do, or at least moderately so (in the case of dance). Any bad grade and I will crush myself inside constantly for a few days, then every so often for the following weeks. I will try to do everything I can about it but I will still feel absolutely horrible.

After about two weeks of sheer misery, I decided not to apply to that school. It costs thirty thousand dollars each year, and my parents work in education and music. We could afford it with financial help, but not easily, and I think I would feel so bad about using up so much that I would be even harder on myself. But more importantly, thinking about it so much made me feel horrible and stressed and sometimes sick. It made me feel stupid because many of my classes at my school are easy for me.

It was really hard - harder than I had thought - to let go of that. I still feel inadequate sometimes about myself. But after some weeks, it began to wear off, and I was able to joke about it again. And I'm beginning to realize - it's okay. It's okay to not go to the school where your entire life is grades and work. It's okay to spend a lot of time on things that aren't school-related, things that feed a different part of me - like art and writing and music and reading. It's okay not to overflow your head with work you don't understand. It's okay to be happy with where you are.

Another thing that is hard for me to realize is that yes, I want to know everything. But the time for knowing it all will come eventually. There are things that I am not in the position to know, because others must be learned first. And that's okay.

An Open Letter to Algebra

Dear algebra:

First and foremost, I despise you. Not because I really want to, it's just, you include so many numbers and letters and you are far too easy to mix up. Somehow I'm always getting things wrong with you, and it's not because I don't try. You just drive me crazy.

Why can't I see you as clearly as geometry, where everything is laid out in an ordered fashion and you can SEE it?

Okay, algebra. We'll have a treaty. I'll complete you, and you...I'm actually not sure what you get out of this. I'm pretty sure you don't care.

Your hateful student,

Shira

One Year

Yep.

I realized today that it's been exactly one year since I went to Israel for six months. Which I now classify as one of the hardest, but ultimately one of the best, experiences of my life.

I really do think I changed immensely in Israel. I became aware of the strangeness of my life, the differences between cultures and languages, and the benefits of free time. I also learned enormous amounts about myself and my relationships with other people, and how much things can feel amazing or horrible, and how much things can change with a difference in outlook.

There is a quote from the declamation piece I am doing (it's J. K. Rowling's Harvard commencement speech from 2008) that goes as follows: "You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity." I think that really embodies what I learned: even as I moved away, my friendships remained. As time went on, of course, I forgot a little who they really were, but I came back and we were still friends, for all that each of us had changed. "Such knowledge," JKR continues, "is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won." Yes, it hurt like hell, leaving here. Yes, I suffered enormously at times. Yes, there were times when I was going practically insane. But I learned so much. About myself, about others, about the world. Different places really change how you think and feel. I really believe that, even if I don't seem to have changed so much, I am a different girl than the one who embarked on the most terrifying journey of her life one year ago, in many respects.

I think this change was part of what allowed me to be happy. I could not be fully happy in Israel because I was always missing the other half of me, the one from America. But when I came back I realized I would always miss some part of myself, and I have always lived in want of another place or another time. But the time is now, and I have decided to be happy, because it is good for me. That is another thing I learned in Israel: if you accept what you have, it becomes much better. I was sad and depressed and moping at first there, then I decided to like what I could like and see what would happen. I suddenly became much better friends with several people. I started talking. I started having more fun.

Though I have often been sad and confused about this, and no doubt will be again, I think that it was ultimately one of the best things I've ever done. For myself, for those around me, for my outlook. That's not to say I will do it again, because it was very difficult and I don't think I could. But as long as I live I think I will keep telling this story. Now I just have to find the next one.

Reacting

So since I am obsessed with my girlfriend, naturally I would talk about her a lot. Since she goes to a different school, nobody knows her - that is, nobody who didn't go to middle school with us.

Yesterday she came to school with me because she could, and the reactions were quite amusing.

Physics class

Person: Betty?
My girlfriend: Yup!
(he looks extremely confused)
Him: But...don't you go to, like...BU or something?
My girlfriend: Yup!
(his expression grows more confused)

French

Me: Hey everyone, this is Betty, she's visiting -
Another person: BETTY! HEEEEY!

On the Way to Advisory

Betty: Hey, Jeff!
Jeff: Hey, Betty - wait, what are you doing here?

On the Way Out of Advisory

Betty (to someone from middle school): Hey!
Him: Hey - oh, Jesus Christ.

On the Way to Lunch

Me: Hey, Kate, this is Betty!
Kate: Wait - you're Betty? You're real? She's real! Oh my god! She's real! She's pretty! Oh my god! I ship it! I ship it!
(She tackle-hugs Betty)

Generic Reaction Which Wasn't Really Amusing, Just Expected

Someone: Betty! Hi! We missed you!

Chorus

Super-Chill Girl from Frosh play: Is that her?
Me: Yep.
Her: Cool. That's nice.

Math

Mathy person: Hey, you're in this class?
Betty: I don't even go here! I haven't been here all year!

Just Dance

Recently I have begun to really miss modern dance.

Of course, the reason I didn't take modern this year is because it's on Friday at 4, which is a really uncomfortable time.

But I've started to just turn on some music and dance to it sometimes - often Hebrew music, since I feel really strongly connected to it. That's really crucial for me - a strong connection to the music itself, not only to the words.

And it's wonderful when I start to feel almost possessed by the music, just letting it carry me where it will.

I personally prefer modern and improv to classical, because I have not yet reached the point in classical where I can dance without thinking. Modern often requires a more relaxed posture, which I quite like.

So I have realized - if I'm feeling down or undecided or irritated, I should go find some empty space, turn on some music, and dance.