In which I seem to be crazier than usual

So, here I sit by my computer with languages jumbled in my head along with the blog post that started writing itself as I was setting the table for a dinner that my dad is out shopping for while my brother is watching Jeopardy downstairs and I am eating cereal (because, you know, cereal is awesome).

One of the strangest run on sentences I've ever written.

I went out and bought a few books today - The Hobbit and Fahrenheit 451 because they are classics that must be read and Looking for Alaska, An Abundance of Katherines, and Paper Towns by John Green because they are awesome and hopefully someday they shall be classics that must be read.

I started re-reading Looking for Alaska because when I read it I hadn't read any of his other books yet and besides I was all depressedly screwed-up (or anyway, more depressedly screwed-up than I am now) and probably read it slightly differently.

People, you have to read this book. And all of John's books. But heck, if you haven't read any of them, stop reading this blog post now and go to your bookstore or library or website of choice and get it somehow. Break-in may be necessary if it's past closing time. But even if you get chucked in jail for a bit, you know, you'll have read the book.

And I know it's controversial and whatever, which sort of startled me when I first read it (prepare for extreme profanity), I've become someone who swears more often now (though thankfully enough I don't smoke) so that part doesn't bother me that much.

I can so relate to these characters. Oh my freaking Rowling, just read it.

Alive

I've been reading Fahrenheit 451, party due to the urging of my friend and partly due to the Nerdfighter Book Club.

I like it and it's rather amazing.

This video is the first in a series in which John and Hank Green, aka the vlogbrothers, discuss the book and its meanings. I would discourage you from watching it if you've not read the book yet but it's not entirely spoilerific.

Anyways...in the video, John asks us what makes us feel alive. Now, I don't have a YouTube account so I can't exactly comment but I figured it would make a worthy enough blog post.

I feel alive when I feel I am doing something meaningful.

Sometimes I'll be doing the same thing at different times but at one time I'll feel like it's meaningful and at the other I'll feel it's pointless.

I feel alive when I spout random facts. I feel alive when I learn those facts. I feel alive when I write things I feel are worthy, or something that I feel will not end up as total crap. I feel alive when I walk outside and watch the world and suddenly I have the amazing feeling of something eagerly writing itself in my head. I feel alive in the hours I spend in libraries, searching, always, for more. I feel alive when I watch things I like on the internet. I feel alive when I see something that someone else is proud to have created  to show to all the other living people. I feel alive when I read, especially in that time at the end of the book when you are feeling emotionally over-capacitated but blissfully aware of the world, moving and changing. I feel alive when I make art. I feel alive when I am aware of everything inside me, pumping blood and handling food and my brain creating spurts of electricity as neurons communicate with each other. I feel alive when suddenly I can see in my mind the infinite wound ball of connections that the world is, when things seem just as they should be and yet could always be better.

I feel alive.

"I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friend."