Those People: a Thanksgiving Follow-Up

I can get to be a bit of an emotional wreck. I tend to beat myself up over things for a long time after they've happened, and it can get bad.

But I've realized lately that there are some people who really help me with that and balance me out, so to speak. I've always had someone like that, or a set of someones. Sometimes it was my family, sometimes friends, sometimes others.

Often they're people I don't see as much, and I spend a lot of time imagining hypothetical conversations or situations or what they might be doing at the moment. And when they see them, I feel so happy.

I want to thank those people. They may or may not know how much they've done for me, but I love them all.

They make my universe a better place.

An Open Letter to the Universe (Thanksgiving)

Today is Thanksgiving. I went to my friend Noah's house as usual and there was endless food and I got a novel to read and I had excellent book conversations and I got Noah reading Looking for Alaska, which is an amazing book. I just love it so much.

I felt like I should make a Thanksgiving post. Because there is a lot to be thankful for in my life. So:

An Open Letter to the Universe

Dear universe,

I'm thankful that I exist, and that I exist in this way, and my improbably precarious life is the way it is even though it could have turned out a thousand different ways. I'm thankful that there is a lot to learn and there are so many things that can be done.

I'm thankful for my family and my friends and my girlfriend and my teachers and the new people that I meet and everyone that helps me and everyone that loves me. I am thankful that people tolerate me. I am thankful that people listen. I'm also thankful that there are the idiots who annoy me and give me bad days for good stories. I am thankful for YouTube and Facebook and the lovely Internet. I am thankful for books and music and art.

I am thankful for metaphors and wonderful coincidences and epiphanies and beautiful connections.

I'm thankful for all the wonderful authors and creators and intellectuals and inspiring people around me. I am thankful for this messed-up world.

Thank you, universe, for everything.

Sincerely,

Shira

School: the Upside

I know John Green talked about this in one Vlogbrothers video but here I go at saying it again.

School. A lot of kids hate it.

First, let's define school. School is a (currently mandatory) institution or program of several years in which people (most often children) are taught things that the world has deemed integral, and sometimes more.

That sounds wonderful to me. Why do people dislike it?

Seriously, I mean, apart from the work, school is awesome. History and science and math and languages and writing and art and music - aren't those things amazing? We have the privilege of being able to find out about the work of almost all of human history, all that we ever strived to figure out and put together - we get to take all that in and process it and think. And we don't have to pay for it.

Some people look at school as a preparation for life. But what about now, about all the things you know and understand and think about? What about all the wonderful things you write and read and find out? We get to spend most of our days discovering new things. Why do we so despise the idea?

The best part is that loving learning and finding out new things makes it easier. It's always easier to do things that you love or at least don't hate. I find that appreciating the things that people teach me makes them much more meaningful. And the whole point of school is to teach us the things that mean something.

I like school, if you hadn't noticed. I like knowing things and understanding how the world works. That's what school is all about.

Um

Doctor Who is back on today, AHHHH!

So I've been hunting around for a way to watch it. And now, when the UK premiere is practically over, I found one. Um. Thanks.

"Reunion"

There was this thing. At the art center.

They called it a reunion but it wasn't really, it was just an invitation to come and make art with other people. And eat pizza. And ice cream. And it was brilliant.

I was the first one there and then this other girl came and we were talking and laughing with the teachers. We made a plan for what we were going to do on the giant canvas that was provided. Then we started to paint and some other kids arrived. I went downstairs to see my friends from ceramics since I wasn't attending this week. We ate pizza and ice cream and went on painting.

I did not feel at all emotionally attached to the painting that I was doing with the second girl who arrived. The other people were also doing a giant one. It was amazing not to give a damn at all and just go wild with color. Ours ended up as a real explosion of hues, and quite abstract too. The canvas was absolutely enormous. I've never done something so large-scale.

So. Much. Fun.

I talked with the girl about middle school and high school and social things and it was kind of fun because we had the same opinions on a lot of things even though she's a "popular kid" and I'm a "book/YouTube nerd." It's amazing how fundamentally similar humans are.

When I signed my name at the end of the evening, I looked at our work and kind of liked it. It definitely wasn't my favorite thing I ever made but it wasn't bad. Creating it was almost like letting go, just letting everything out, with vast brush strokes across the enormous space.

It feels good not to be attached, almost like floating, like being on a ship in the open sea. You choose what ports to enter, which ones you want to explore, and where you want to stay. "I can see...perfectly in this cracked darkness." ~ Paper Towns by John Green

Strange Favorite

My favorite knife needs to be sharpened.

See, we have these three big knives. Two are long; one has a rounder blade. Two have thicker blades, while the last one has a thinner one.

My favorite one is the one with the round, thicker blade.

I'm classy. I have knife favorites.

(Or, you know, I could be a serial killer. Whatever.)

In the middle of Crash Course

It was dinnertime.

Me: But I was just in the middle of learning history!
Mom: Ugh. Just because your family wants you to eat dinner with them.
Mom: I suggest you fire them.

Watching Crash Course

That's what I'm doing. I don't really watch the biology ones as much but I do watch world history (because, you know, world history is the single thing that American education up to grade seven or so does not really teach - yeah, I know about the Native Americans and I've learned the American Revolution about three times, don't wonder why I'm not that interested in class).

This week's video was about the French Revolution. I learned all about it in Israel. It was cool.

Then, a picture of Marie Antoinette came up and the little "did you know" thing said "The cake was a lie."

Me: The cake was a lie?
Me: ...
Me: THE CAKE IS A LIE!
Me: LET THEM EAT CAKE!
Me: OH MY FREAKING GOD I GET IT!

And then it was chair happy dance time.

(If you get only half the things I'm saying in this blog post, go see the awesome that are John and Hank Green on Vlogbrothers and Crash Course. Join the Nerdfighters! We are made of awesome!)

(Marie Antoinette never exactly said "Let them eat cake" so the cake WAS a lie.)

(Also, excuse me for being vaguely disconnected with some aspects of popular culture.)

(And excuse the excessive parentheses.)

(I read once in Writer's Digest that you should not use parentheses. At all.)

(I don't really care.)

Retainersh: the follow-up

If you didn't know, I have retainers, which is why my teeth are still straight.

I haven't been wearing it 24/7 like I should, so I have been absolutely terrified of this appointment.

So we get there. My brother goes first. He's fine. I am getting more and more nervous.

I go and sit in the chair and she comes and looks and says "Oh, looking good! It would have looked better if you could have seen an orthodontist in the past six months, but it's very good."

At which point I sighed with relief. I had been so incredibly scared that she would speak to me in the way that makes you want to cry and scream "I'm sorry! I have failed you! I shall never fail you again!"

So she made some adjustments and now it fits perfectly and I am very happy.

Today was a good day.

So we were on Facebook chat

My friend: Hello Ms. Purple!
Me: purple?!
Me: what does purple have to do with anything?
Him: It's a random color, that's all!
Me: uhhh
Me: okay then
Him: You can call me Mr. Black or any other color
Me: so we're color people now?
Him: yes, this is Avatar
Me: lovely
Me: Avatar as in The Last Airbender?
Him: no, the freaking Spielberg movie
Him: they're all blue!
Me: right right right
Me: but we would be from a different planet
Me: because we're not blue
Him: don't get into details
Me: ...

Common peoples of the earth: please address my esteemed self as "Miss Purple" (because as of now I am young and unmarried) and my glorified friend as Sir Orange.

Who I am

Lately I've started to slightly question who I am.

Here I was a nerd who always read books and went on the internet.

In Israel, added to that, I was the one who called out all the time in math and English and had screaming conversations with boys which people gathered around to watch. I was the one who hit those same boys with books when they "misbehaved." My best friends were those boys.

Am I that girl?

Or am I the one I was here?

I liked that new start, the chance to create yourself perhaps slightly differently. I think, in my life, I'd like to do it again. But the thing is, I now have slightly different reputations. I wouldn't hang out with boys as much here (that would be vaguely unacceptable); I can't be sort-of-friends with the popular group; I can't hit people with books (that would be entirely unacceptable).

But both those people are part of me.

We'll have to see what high school throws into this mix...

Book Survey

1. Favorite childhood book?

Define "childhood." But anyway, when I was younger I really liked Boxcar Children books by Gertrude Chandler Warner (some name, right?). Then I read Harry Potter and I couldn't read anything else for two months. After that I liked pretentious award-winning books. I still do, I guess.

2. What are you reading right now?

Physics for Future Presidents by Richard A. Muller, The King Must Die by Mary Renault, various Batman comics, and rereading books from my library.

3. What books do you have on request at the library?

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by I-forget-who, various Batman comics by various authors, etc. 

4. Bad book habit?

Insisting that I must keep reading even when I'm exhausted and my mind starts to wander so that I read whole pages and don't register a word. 

5. What do you currently have checked out at the library?

Not including movies: All-Star Batman & Robin, the Boy Wonder, volume 1 written by Frank Miller, Scrawl: a novel by Mark Shulman, Batman: Haunted Knight by Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, Batman: The Long Halloween by Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, Witness for the Prosecution, and other stories by Agatha Christie, Bad Boy: a memoir by Walter Dean Myers, The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, Now and Forever by Ray Bradbury, Tamar by Mal Peet, Batman and Son by Grant Morrison, Batman: Battle for the Cowl by Tony S. Daniel, Batman: Dark Victory by Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, the aforementioned Physics for Future Presidents by Richard A. Muller, Gilgamesh, translated by Stephen Mitchell, The King Must Die by Mary Renault, The Batman Handbook by Scott Beatty, Marvel 1602 by Neil Gaiman, Catwoman: When in Rome by Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, and A User's Guide to the Universe by Dave Goldberg and Jeff Blomquist.

That makes me look Batman-obsessed. Batman does not rival the magnitude of my other obsessions.

6. Do you have an e-reader?

Yeah. A nook.

7. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?

It depends on the book. At the moment I am reading several less-engrossing books, but if they're really interesting, I'll figuratively swallow them whole one at a time. (Honestly, my throat can only take so much.)

8. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?

No? I don't think?

9. Least favorite book you read this year (so far?)

Uhhh...I don't know...I haven't read bad books, really...

10. Favorite book you’ve read this year?

The complete works of John Green. They're good enough that I bought them. (I read Looking for Alaska in late 2011 but whatever.)

11. How often do you read out of your comfort zone?

Often, I guess, but out of my comfort zone sort of is my comfort zone, if that makes any sense. Like I said, I like award-winning books, so I do read those. And I'd like to be well-read, so earlier this year I read Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing which was great, even though I didn't understand every word. I would like to read the great classics as well.

Also, my friend is going to a pretentious high school next year and I said I would read all the books on her summer reading list. Which admittedly are only four. But damn, they're high-end. Gilgamesh, The King Must Die, Physics for Future Presidents, and Gulliver's Travels. So yeah.

12. What is your reading comfort zone?

Everything except erotica and most sci-fi.

13. Can you read on the bus?

Yeah, usually. Sometimes I get queasy, but not often. 

14. Favorite place to read?

On my bed, on the couch, or on the front steps.

15. What is your policy on book lending?

I am horrible at getting books back to people (it once took me five years), so if someone asks I'll lend it to them but I'll be sure to try to get them back.

16. Do you ever dog-ear books?

No. I am big on libraries and not buying books unless I really love them or I just should, so I try to preserve them as they are. That said, I did take a pencil and correct the it's-instead-of-its in Physics for Future Presidents. That is something that the next reader will benefit from, and will let me stop freaking out over it.

17. Do you ever write in the margins of your books?

Not usually. But see the previous question for a special case.

18. Not even with text books?

I wish I could. But most of them belong to the school. It would make it so much easier if I could write in them.

19. What is your favorite language to read in?

English. I ought to read more in Hebrew, especially as I've got some good books that aren't translated. I hate reading translations if I have the opportunity to read the original. I'd like to reach a level in French so that I could read all sorts of French literature.

20. What makes you love a book?

Good writing, believable characters, compelling plot.

21. What will inspire you to recommend a book?

1. If I really like it or 2. if I would like to discuss it with someone. Why else?

22. Favorite genre?

Middle-grade and YA fiction. No vampires.

23. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did?)

Nonfiction/biographies or maybe more classics.

24. Favorite biography?

I prefer biographies of fictional characters. ;) Not really, I just don't read very many biographies.

25. Have you ever read a self-help book?

Unless you count The Feelings Book from American Girl, no, I don't think. 

26. Favorite cookbook?

I am not in the habit of reading cookbooks. However, The Crêpe-Makers' Pact by Julie Crabtree has some recipes in it. That was an enjoyable book.

27. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction)?

Paper Towns or The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, or maybe The Book Thief by Markus Zusak.

28. Favorite reading snack?

Anything?

29. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience.

None that I can think of, but I'll come back to edit this if I do.

30. How often do you agree with critics about a book?

I try not to read reviews because they influence me. I know it sounds a little crazy, but their opinions will make me vaguely question my own.

31. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?

I feel that if I don't like it, I don't have to say I like it.

32. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you choose?

French, German, or Russian. Just because I love languages.

33. Most intimidating book you’ve ever read? 

Can't think of any right now...

34. Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin?

Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I read a little bit and it creeped me out.

35. Favorite Poet?

I love poetry, but I don't have a favorite.

36. How many books do you usually have checked out of the library at any given time?

Around twenty.

37. How often have you returned book to the library unread?

A few times, just because they were 1. on hold or 2. overdue and not renewable.

38. Favorite fictional character? 

Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Margo Roth Spiegelman, Hazel Grace Lancaster, Pudge Halter, Severus Snape.

39. Favorite fictional villain?

Severus Snape or Draco Malfoy. Amazing characters.

40. Books you’re most likely to bring on vacation?

I bring anything I can on vacation! Probably things I'm reading or am looking forward to reading.

41. The longest you’ve gone without reading.

Perhaps a month. It did not end well.

42. Name a book that you could/would not finish.

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein. But my brother has recently read/listened to it and I can't let him out-read me. 

43. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?

My thoughts. They are extremely loud.

44. Favorite film adaptation of a novel?

Hugo. We are calling The Invention of Hugo Cabret a novel, right?

45. Most disappointing film adaptation?

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. It did not scare me like it should have.

46. The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time?

Over $100, at Strand Bookstore in New York City. That's the only place I allow myself to buy books without having read them yet. 

47. How often do you skim a book before reading it?

Never. Ever.

48. What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through?

Slow plot. I can't deal with it!

49. Do you like to keep your books organized?

I used to. But since I just decided to give away a lot of my books, I haven't really kept them organized. I don't really have too many because of my commitment to not-buying-until-I-have-really-thought-about-it-long-and-hard, so organization isn't all that important, I just need them to be on the shelves.

50. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them?

Keep and lend.

51. Are there any books you’ve been avoiding?

Twilight. I REFUSE.

52. Name a book that made you angry.

Mockingjay. Just - so depressing and screwed-up. I felt horrible after reading that and I was already not the sanest of people, so that's definitely not good.

53. A book you didn’t expect to like but did?

Harry Potter, funnily enough. I had been avoiding it for a while because people had told me it was "scary" and "hard" so even when it was recommended to me, I didn't read it. Until my fourth-grade teacher read it aloud to us. Then I couldn't stop reading it. Still can't, really.

54. A book that you expected to like but didn’t?

Again: Mockingjay. WHY, Suzanne Collins, WHY?

55. Favorite guilt-free, pleasure reading?

Rereading books I like. And I don't really read except for pleasure - I mean, I try to enjoy even assigned books. That said, I'm not a great fan of textbooks.

AAAAGH

Just a moment ago I was doing a bit of research for the story I'm writing and I got sidetracked. I was on a website on which someone was looking for reviews of a public school. You know what I found? And I quote directly:

"Like many in those communities that are concerned about the best school, start looking at the many excellent private schools in the area. Its never to early and you don't want your kids left behind."

I hate you, whoever you are. Or - I suppose, I hate your opinions on this. Firstly: "it's," not "its" at the beginning of the second sentence. And, oh yes, I'm going to public school. Behind, am I?

Do you want your children to be mentally stable or pressured to the point of breaking? Now, maybe I'm exaggerating, but that really bothers me, that people want to push children and teens to their limits. Of course, if the area in which you live does not have good public schools, by all means send them to a private school. If they want to go to a private school, brilliant. But if you're only interested in grades - NO.

And "it's never too early"?! What about preschool? Is that too early?

You wonder why America has low scores on standardized tests. Firstly: do we care about standardized tests? Not particularly. Secondly: ever thought of toning down the pressure? That does wonders for learning. And I speak from experience: in some cases, I got much better scores in Israel just because there was no pressure.

Okay. I'm done now. This just really gets to me.

It's raining, it's POURING

It's raining!

I love thunderstorms. They come so quickly and pour and pour and pour and make a lot of noise and suddenly stop. So very capricious. I suppose I'm a fan of capricious.

Life is Long

It has not yet been a month since I left Israel.

Needless to say, it feels like forever.

Just over a month ago I was still in school. In this way of seeing things, a year seems so very long. Heck, a day is a long time. And six months? Well, that's damn long too.

It makes me wonder: what can I do with all this time? There's school and someday a job and everything, but there's always more. Extra hours. They're wasted so easily.

But we are so focused on the future that we don't think of now. Obviously you've got to plan some things, otherwise nothing would happen at all, but what about now? Often I forget about the now. Oh, in so many minutes or hours or days or months such and such is happening, but something is also happening now.

There will never be a moment again like this moment. That's what spurs me to do stuff.

Gimme the salt

My cousins are here. The youngest one (age 3 as of this past Friday) and I were eating cucumber slices. I noticed he was putting way too much salt on his, so I moved it far away from him.

Him: Give me the salt.
Me: No.
Him: Give me the salt.
Me: No.
Him: Give me the salt.
Me: No.
Him: I'll punch you in the face.

At which point I burst out laughing.

I have an interesting family.

Le fin du voyage

I suppose this was always coming.

But now I'm not typing from our living room in Tel Aviv but from our (notably larger) living room in Newton.

It's strange being back, and I'm not really sure how I feel about it yet. Weird. Now I won't have to put the tag "Israel" in the labels...

I just don't want things to be exactly as they were. I want that time in another place to matter.

Anyway - here goes for summer! If you're American, happy fourth of July! If not, happy fourth of July anyway!

(The French title means "the end of the journey.")